This made me laugh. Found it while stalking (not really... just looking at someone's Google Buzz posts :D ). Regardless of where I found it, it's funny, don't take it too seriously, and do have a good laugh.
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system.
Simple Duties:
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you use the downstairs bathroom (-2)
You go out to buy her the chocolate she's craving (+5)
At midnight (+8)
In the snow (+12)
But return with beer (-5)
An hour later (-15)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)
A Night Out:
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called Death Cop 3 (-3)
Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
Physique:
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say "It doesn't matter, you have one too" (-800)
The Big Question:
She asks, "Do I look fat?"
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
Communication:
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100)
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep (-200)
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system.
Simple Duties:
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you use the downstairs bathroom (-2)
You go out to buy her the chocolate she's craving (+5)
At midnight (+8)
In the snow (+12)
But return with beer (-5)
An hour later (-15)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)
A Night Out:
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called Death Cop 3 (-3)
Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
Physique:
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say "It doesn't matter, you have one too" (-800)
The Big Question:
She asks, "Do I look fat?"
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
Communication:
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100)
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep (-200)
This made me laugh too. Especially the movie part. I watched a foreign film about orphans with a boyfriend once. We were both depressed after watching it.
ReplyDeleteLOL!!!!! This is awesome.... :D
ReplyDeleteBiblically supports 1 Cor 7:8. =P
ReplyDeleteOk, I feel really bad for the guys :P ...
ReplyDeletebut it is pretty funny, some of those unthought of point "add-ers" and "minus-ers" :) .
Haha, I love it! Thanks for sharing :lol:
ReplyDeleteIs there any correct way to gain points when she asks if she looks fat? Seems like all you can do is loose on that one. This was really funny and educational. :)
ReplyDeleteAaron and I LAUGHED so hard as we read this. Thanks for sharing, India!
ReplyDelete@Aaron: I don't think so, no. :/
ReplyDelete@Anna: so, how many points does Aaron have? ;)